Cabbie

Quiet Cabbie

The next time you use a London cab; don’t be surprised at the eerie silence. No Capital Gold playing inane music, no talk from LBC 97.3 or Robert Elms beloved by cabbies on Radio London. Not a sound emanating from the cabbie’s radio, the only sound emanating from his mouth is putting the world to rights.

This is all down to the Music Mullahs; the Performing Rights Society who is insisting that everyone who plays a radio that can be heard by their customers will have to pay for the privilege, even on talk only stations.

This Performing Rights Society, whose royalty-collection service keeps many a struggling musician in Class A drugs, has recently raided the Essex workshop of mechanic Len Attwood because he wasn’t displaying one of their stickers to prove he had paid £44 plus VAT and had a licence to play music in public.

Len told them he didn’t need one because he didn’t have a radio. Ah, but your customers have radios in their cars, he was informed, and they don’t always turn them off when they drive into the workshop.

Therefore, unless he bought a licence, he could be fined £2,000. Either that, or put up a prominent notice ordering customers to switch off their radios at the door, and he cannot repair car radios. Since his first encounter with PRS Len has received six letters and two further phone calls.
 
If you look at PRS’s website you are asked how many customers you have, presumably this relates to the fee you will be charged for listening to your radio. So what does a cabbie do? Ten jobs a day with on average 2 passengers multiply by 5 days multiply by
48 weeks and then submit that figure.

Where will all this end? Technically, if you carry passengers in your cab, any music or even jingles from speech only stations, you play through the radio; i-Pod or CD player must constitute a public performance.

Soon they’ll be setting up road blocks in conjunction with the PRS.

“Why have you pulled me over, officer? I haven’t been drinking and I certainly wasn’t exceeding the speed limit.”

“I have reason to believe you have been listening to Radio 2 without a licence and in addition your fare’s mobile phone has just rung with an unauthorised ring tone. Hand over you keys, sir, you’re nicked.”

Karaoke Cabbie
At the other end of the decibel scale, a Chinese taxi driver says business is booming since he installed a karaoke machine in his cab for customers. Fan Xiaoming spent £600 on three flat screens, 16 speakers, amplifiers and disco lights, reports New Culture Daily. And he says takings have shot up since he transformed his cab into what he calls “Changchun’s only karaoke cab” last month. “Many people ask for my number for their next trip,” he said. “And sometimes they even ask me to take a longer route so they can spend more time singing.” Fan says the passengers’ singing doesn’t distract him from driving, since he already knows all the songs and it’s just like listening to the radio. “I only sing during my lunch break with some cab driver buddies,” he added. Fan, a cab driver for nine years, said he had always harboured ambitions to be a singer himself, but never had the time as he was always behind the wheel. “Then one day I suddenly thought, since I spent most of my time in the taxi, why not install a karaoke machine in the cab?”
 

Dogs are called Man’s Best Friend and this week’s blog is an excuse to include a picture of cabbie.blog.com’s best friend.

Cute they may be, but not so appealing for some motorists.

According to the vehicle breakdown service the RAC, dogs are the most frequent animal offenders and several have managed to shut their owners out of their vehicles on garage forecourts by activating the locks with their paws. Its patrols have also attended incidents where dogs had swallowed car keys and damaged vehicles by chewing the wires and steering wheels.

Animals are also to blame for other incidents. One patrol was called out to a car that wouldn’t start to discover a family of rats living in the fuse box, where they had chewed through all the wires. Another patrolman had a more traumatic day; he had to fix a van with an alligator inside. Another speedy patrol helped restart a transporter taking a cheetah to a zoo before it was dinner time!

A kitten being driven to his new home panicked on arrival and escaped into the dashboard of the vehicle. The entire dashboard had to be dismantled. Similar call-outs involved snakes, mice and hamsters hiding within the vehicle.

A particular favourite of mine involves a patrolman opening the back of a broken down van to be startled on finding 17 pairs of eyes staring back at him belonging to a cast of falcons.

Another RAC member was mystified as to why he couldn’t unlock his car and, on arrival, the patrol had to point out that he was trying to get into the wrong vehicle.

One motorist had more money than sense when he managed to lock £80,000 in cash inside his boot.

One in three of the motoring organisation’s patrols also reported that they had arrived at a call-out to find amorous couples in the broken down vehicle.

A survey of its patrols found 39 per cent had helped a motorist get to a life-changing event, such as a getting to a wedding on time and one even reported helping to deliver a baby.

RAC patrol person of the year Iain Vale said: “Our patrols respond to around 2.7 million roadside assistance call-outs every year and this survey reveals the extent of the very odd and unusual nature of what sometimes awaits us. Whether it’s meeting members who keep their dog’s ashes in an urn in the car, calls asking whether they can extend breakdown cover to their electric wheelchairs, or a new kitten that’s panicked and hidden in the dashboard, we get our hands dirty.”

The RAC’s other bizarre call-outs included:

A hapless groom nearly didn’t marry his bride when he locked the wedding rings in his car.

A £30,000 violin had to be rescued by a RAC patrol from a jammed seat belt so that its owner could get to a concert in time.

One RAC patrol rescued a referee on his way to a football match just hours before the game was due to kick off.

Another patrol rescued a police car, stuck up to its windows in mud having chased a runaway criminal across a ploughed field.

Fat Cats (and Dogs)

Don’t worry about the collapse of the banks, the credit crunch and the looming recession, this is really serious stuff. The Department for Environmental, Food and Rural Affairs (DEFRA), has just published a report that puts all these other problems in the shade.

Owners of fat cats and obese dogs could be fined up to £20,000 or jailed under these new controversial Government rules! No, it’s not a wind up and I’m not having a laugh, it goes into detail to remind pet owners of their responsibilities under the new law.

It tells owners to provide “entertainment” and “Mental stimulation” for pets, making sure upstairs windows are “cat-proofed” to stop animals falling out and to avoid taking dogs for a walk in the hottest part of the day. Pet owners should also ensure that they give animals a suitable place to live and “somewhere to go to the toilet”.

So don’t forget, the next time your cat or dog is looking bored, entertain them with a song and allow them to join in the family quiz for their mental stimulation. And if your dog asks to go “walkies” and it’s hot outside, just lead him into his private toilet. I shudder to think just how much of the taxpayer’s money has been spent on this patronising and ridiculous Bill that assumes all pet owners are dopey.

I would refer you now to the above photo, is cabbie.blog’s dog OK?

As homage to the demise of Woolworths here is my own cabbie.blog.com pick and mix:

Celebrities Owning Cabs
Who on earth would want to own a London Black Cab apart from a working cabbie? Well it would seem there are quite a few well known people who are prepared to put up with its many faults. Uncomfortable, poor braking, rattles, high tyre wear, unless heater and yes some go up in flames. Oh, I could go on ad infinitum.

People who are easily recognisable like the anonymity that a cab gives you in London, coupled with its 25 foot turning circle.

Here are a few unlucky owners. Kate Moss’s cab was given to her by friends, whom according to reports included Sadie Frost, as a gift appreciation for the lavish gifts that Moss gave them over the years. It is entertaining to learn that a popular and glamorous model like Kate now owns one of these vehicles. But research the net and you will find Kate Moss is not the only celebrity owning the ubiquitous London Taxi Cab.

Amongst them are: the California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger who has purchased a fleet of London Black Cabs to be exported to California for his own personal use and entrepreneur Larry Smith who has bought the exclusive rights to the vehicles after they caught his eye during a family holiday to England in 2000, film director Stanley Kubrick, actor Ian Butcher, Stephen Fry and even Prince Philip have owned them.

As you never know now times are tough, we cabbies could face some competition from them.

Cab Shelters

Looking like overgrown garden sheds; these distinctive buildings can still be found on the streets of London, offering shelter for the drivers of hansom cabs and hackney carriages (taxis) since 1875.

Because cab drivers weren’t allowed to leave their vehicles when parked at a stand, it was difficult for them to get a hot meal while at work, so The Earl of Shaftsbury (God bless ‘im) and a few philanthropic chums decided to create a cabbie’s charity in 1874.

Entitled the Cabmen’s Shelter Fund, the charity set out to construct and run shelters to provide cabbies with “good and wholesome refreshments at moderate prices”. Between 1875 and 1914, a total of 61 shelters were built at cost of around £200 each.

Because the shelters stood on a public highway, the police stipulated that they weren’t allowed to be any larger than a horse and cart.

Even with those restrictions, the huts still managed to wedge in a working kitchen and accommodate between ten and thirteen men. The shelters came with seats and tables and were stocked with books and newspapers, usually donated by the publishers and other benefactors. Gambling, drinking and swearing were strictly forbidden.

Still maintained by the Cabmen’s Shelter Fund, thirteen of these shelters still exist
(all now Grade II listed buildings).

The surviving shelters can be seen at:
Chelsea Embankment; Grosvenor Gardens; Hanover Square; Kensington Park Road; Kensington Road; Russell Square; St George’s Square; Temple Place; Thurloe Place; Warwick Avenue; and Wellington Place.

Pedometers

If you happen to be in Japan and are constantly fretting over the high cost of taxis, then a tiny plastic gadget called Taxi Walker might just deliver peace of mind this winter. Costing about £13, Taxi Walker is a belt-style pedometer that measures how far you’ve walked in any given period and converts it into the equivalent taxi fare.

The idea is that next time you fancy a taxi ride in Japan you should set off on foot instead and then gloat at how much you’ve saved when you reach your destination.

It couldn’t take off over here, could it?

A change in attitudes has taken place in London over the past few years. Since man first discovered paint graffiti has been the bane for any owner of a wall, or cave which is suitable for tagging.

In the 1970s a successful campaign was started proclaiming on any suitable wall
G. DAVIS IS INNOCENT O.K. It was claimed that a Mr. Davis was “fitted up” by the police for an armed payroll robbery and after a long campaign the courts were forced to release him. (He was banged up later for a crime he really had committed).

Other well known sayings daubed on walls are: “If voting changed anything, they would ban it”; or “Jesus Saves, at the Woolwich”.

Now an artistic genius has changed many peoples perception of street art. This person, who revels in his anonymity, goes under the name of Banksy.

Banksy’s stencils feature striking and humorous images occasionally combined with slogans. The message is usually anti-war, anti-capitalist or anti-establishment. Subjects include animals such as monkeys and rats, policemen, soldiers, children, and the elderly.

Banksy even smuggled one of his works into Tate Britain art gallery which went unnoticed until it crashed to the floor hours later.

So loved are his anarchic offerings, a parody of a Tesco flag being raised painted on a wall in Islington North London has a Perspex screen put in front of it, as if it needs protecting like the Mona Lisa.

Many people regard Banksy as a generic name for a group of like minded artists, hell bent on changing people’s perception of authority, one of my favourites is the simple slogan: One nation under CCTV. Another image depicted a scene from Quentin Tarantino’s Pulp Fiction, with Samuel L. Jackson and John Travolta clutching bananas instead of guns, alas London transport workers painted over this mural which was estimated to be worth more than £300,000.

So what is to be done to combat vandalism? A recent story of an oik after being given community service was told to wear a high visibility vest while cleaning up public property, he refused to wear the vest as his friends were making fun of him, so he walked away from his duties, jail him or what?

Answers on a postcard or written on any suitable building please.
An excellent site for graffiti images is to be found at the art of the state

After this piece was written we have heard of the death of Rosie, George Davis’ ex-wife from cancer. She was the driving force with Peter Chappell to free George Davis. An excellent article has been written in The Daily Mail of the campaign and Rosie has also written a book recording her involvement.